by: dennis
edited: author’s sister
numero three. been pondering on the topic for this one. and I think it’s a good one to talk about as it is kind of like the reverse of my last post’s topic. so, come along for the ride.
it is one thing to experience temptation during a church service. however, it is another thing to experience God reaching out to you right in the midst of sinning, not before, not after, but during. before we go on. I want to share a couple of verses that will be relevant for this topic.
Who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies
with a strong hand and outstretched arm, for His lovingkindness endures forever
these couple of verses highlight a couple of things for me. in Psalms 103:4 it talks about God, who is the One who redeems a person’s life from destruction. that tells me that God longs to see people live victoriously and that He does not enjoy seeing people destroying their lives. I also see in these verses, God’s lovingkindness that He shows when He brings people out of their mess. God doesn’t want to just pull you out of the miry clay, but He also wants to restore you and crown you with lovingkindness.
He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps.
you may be wondering, how did God demonstrate this for me? in what way did I experience His lovingkindness during my struggle with pornography? what was it like to experience God’s outstretched arm towards me? well, I’m glad you asked.
but first I need to give a little bit of background: it deals with music and will connect with the topic. I primarily listened to christian contemporary music for most of my life. I found a lot of comfort in these songs of worship to God and about God. I found that these songs would soothe my soul. I also found them to be a reminder of the reason we exist, which is for Yeshua and that without Him we have nothing.
For we are His workmanship—created in Messiah Yeshua for good deeds, which God prepared beforehand so we might walk in them.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for apart from Me, you can do nothing.
now, as much as I enjoyed worshiping God with these songs, I found it to be completely jarring when I found myself singing along to a worship song, in my mind, right in the middle of watching pornography. this happened on a regular basis for me (I remember it more so during my 20s, but I don’t quite remember if this happened during my teenager years). whatever chorus I knew, that’s what I sang along to. instead of finding comfort, I found discomfort with my sin and sensed God longing for me to quit right then and there. but often times, I found myself dismissing the song because I found myself thinking, well I need to repent for watching porn, and I already started, so I might as well finish it. this conflicted me because I sensed so strongly that God was saying, no, you can stop right in the middle of your sin, you don’t need to finish it, in order to turn your life around. you can stop right now. you can stop right here. this tells me God wants me to turn back to Him, today, right now, not a moment longer. and not only that, but that He is also willing to receive me back to Him with arms open wide. God gave me this opportunity, over, and over, and over again. I may not be able to remember all the times this happened to me, but what I remember is the message never changed. God longed for me. He longed for me to repent. He longed to restore me. He longed for me to receive His love. He simply longed for me. if that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. it is a love like no other. may I never forget how God demonstrated His lovingkindness to me.
there are some other ways that God demonstrated His love to me that I will elaborate on in future posts. there is definitely a thread of God working on my heart through all of this and a message of love that has been so consistent that I am now so crystal clear on. God has remained the same all throughout my journey. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
“For I am the Lord , I do not change; therefore you are not consumed, O sons of Jacob.
be encouraged by God’s faithfulness, by His lovingkindness, and by His love towards us. I am filled with gratitude towards God by how much He has stretched His hand towards me, by how much He has longed for me, and by how consistently He spoke His love to me. I know without a doubt that He continues to express the same love to me and only wants to strengthen the relationship I have with Him forevermore. it just gets better from here on as I continue to walk with Him.
may you reflect on His love towards you. may you receive His love and let Him change your heart. He only has good things in store for you if you just let Him love you. I leave you here with this last verse:
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord , plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
be blessed. and until next time.
Love Broke Through 
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